hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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