So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
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