That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
