you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
