Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me

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(513): View more from Ohio

Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives

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(214): View more from Texas

you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.

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(661): View more from California

i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..

(951): View more from California

u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!

(661): View more from California

i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.

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(210): View more from Texas

Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.

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(406): View more from Montana

1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.

(734): View more from Michigan

please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso

(603): View more from New Hampshire

:)

(603): View more from New Hampshire

i can feel colors

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