did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Actions speak louder than pants.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
