a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
i think my cat just said my name.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
