Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
