$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I am available for nakedness
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
