You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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