I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
