Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
