she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize