He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
