Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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