we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
