My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
