That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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