Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
