brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
