Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
