i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
