Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
