i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
