is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
