what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
