I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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