oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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