no. you can't hotbox the world.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
