This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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