this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
