If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
