There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
