I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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