Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Bring me that man meat
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
