The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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