i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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