the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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