I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She bit a glass in half.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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