But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
smell my finger.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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