You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
