Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
