I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
