They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
