I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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