no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
