omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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