Best friends brother. Beat that.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
