Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
