There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
