Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
how do flat chested girls get laid?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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