i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
