I like my sex mixed with concussions.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize