Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You ate ashes out of my bong
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize