Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
