Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize