Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
