Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize