why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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