Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
