So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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