I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
