Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
