tell your sister to shave her snatch
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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