Is it normal to miss your booty call?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
