it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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