Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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