I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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